Well, tomorrow is the start of National Infertility Awareness Week. It's also the one year anniversary of my coming out of the preverbal closet with regards to our infertility. With one in eight couples experiencing infertility I'd think it would be talked about more but in reality I've found it to be a hush hush topic. Since it's not really talked about a lot of couples are left to suffer in silence. Well hopefully this week will give some couples the courage to break the silence.
You know the saying, "if you haven't been there you wouldn't understand?" Well, that basically says it all. It's like everyone that you know gets to be part of this super cool club called 'Parenting' where they have their own secret handshake and their own secret language and all the popular kids are there. And the only thing you want is to be part of this exclusive club but it doesn't matter how hard you try you can't be part of the club. And it SUCKs!!! You watch your friends and family join this club. Your friends younger siblings. Everyone but you gets to join the club and you are left ALONE. And then you don't have as much in common with your friends any more...all they want to talk about is what happened last night at the club meeting but you can't relate. Some of them even complain about the rules and regulations about being in the club...and all you can think is that you would give anything for the chance to be in their club.
I've found that infertility is like a giant grieving circle. You get your period and you are devastated because its another month that isn't your turn. A few days later you start to feel better and the hope starts to come back. A few days after that you start to have hope. You take your BBT like clock work, check your CM, and use OPK's so that you can do the deed at the right moment. You then have scheduled sex...every other day for a week. And after the sex you lay with your legs in the air for at least an hour. The hope continues to build as you go through the TWW. You have a slight twinge and wonder if thats an implantation pain or a reminder that AF is about to show up. You continue to monitor your BBT for any signs. Then you wake up one morning with killer cramps to find that AF has showed up yet again...you are devastated...you were sure this was your month. And the grieving starts all over again...
You'd think with the marvels of modern medicine that all you have to do is go to the doctor and they'd be able to tell you what the problem is and how to fix it and then you'll get pregnant. Not so. As it turns out 1/3rd of all infertility cases are diagnosed as unexplained infertility. That means that even after all of the tests the doctors cannot find a cause of the infertility. Let me tell you....I hate the term Unexplained!!!!