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Friday, June 15, 2012


So, I just feel lost right now....

One of my two best friends just told me that she is 11 weeks pregnant.  I know I should be happy for her but I just can't.  I feel like it makes me a bad person, but this will be her second child (her first will be turning 2 in July) and they didn't start ttc until six months after we did.  It just doesn't seem fair, they were not trying, this pregnancy was a accident.  Maybe its cuz of the IF that we have had to go but I just don't understand how "accidents" are possible.  Personally, I don't understand how the world population continues to increase with the amount of people who suffer through infertility and pregnancy loss.  But apparently its possible.....I miss our baby...

A friend who has also suffered from a loss sent me the following today, I think this is whats keeping me going..."You are a very strong woman, stronger than you know and your experiences I'm sure give hope and healing to other women. You and Brian are very special people, and even though we don't know each other very well I hope we can come to."

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