Third times a charm???

So as I sit here I am officially on day 4 of my cycle, which will be our thrid IUI attempt.  This is also our first attempt with Follistim, an injectable medication.  For our first two IUI procedures we tried Clomid, but since they both failed we are moving on to a new and hopefully more powerful medication.  I dont really know how I am suspposed to feel...I try to be hopeful, but with two failed attempts behind us I can't shake this nagging feeling of hopelessness. 

Now we are very fortunate that my job provides us with a good health insurance policy which covers a lot of the costs associated with IF but the hoops that I have to jump through to get insurance to cover it is insane.  Most of my probelms have been around getting medication for the procedures.  The clomid was easy, but when I tired to get the Ovidrel filled....well, that was a nightmare!!!  Luckily I now know the tricks with my pharmacy coverage but it tooks many hours (and I do mean hours) of me practically in tears with both my insurance companies and my HR rep to get this sorted out.  I joke about this, but I think that some people can buy illegal drugs easier than I can buy ferility medication. 

I am thinking that this is going to be a really long month of waiting.  My husband was really funny last night though.  He got the pen all ready for the injection and then when he pulled off the cap and saw the needle he looked at me and said, "you want me to stick this where?"  After I shopwed him it took him a few minutes to get up the courage, He kept saying, "I dont think I can stab you with this..."  I found the entire situation kinda funny.  Hopefully tonight will be easier...

On a seperate note, I wonder what part of me is ok with the bizarre form of self torture that I endure every week when I watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager.  A show about a bunch of teenagers getting pregnant when they are clearly not ready to be parents...why would I even want to watch such a show???  I avoid 16 and pregnant and teen mom like the plague but for some reason I am addicted to the Secret Life of the American teenager.  And the funny thing about that, is that now my husband even enjoys the show too :)  Ohh, the things he does for me.