I remember back in high school after many of the breakups that I had with my high school boyfriend thinking that no one would ever love me and that I was doomed to end up alone (yea, I realize how nuts that sounds now) and miserable, that I would be the old lady with 100 cats who lives next door who no one visits cuz they think she is too much of a freak. I remember wishing that if I could just know that I would end up married to the man of my dreams and life would be ok that I would be able to get through said breakup. And when I look back on it now.......well, lets just say if I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have spent so much time crying.....
And I bring that up now because I feel the exact same way now about a different topic. I wish so badly that someone could tell me now how this whole IF thing is gonna play out. Even if it doesn't end the way I desperately want it to...just to know that my husband and I make it out on the other side happy and leading lives that fulfill us, thats all I need to know. It would somehow make all of this a little more bearable...
One of my favorite songs from high school (it was my motto song at times) was called Someone Else's Star and though it is talking about wanting to find someone to love the refrain can be applied to IF...
"I guess I must be wishing, on someone else's star. It seems like someone else keeps getting what Im wishing for. Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are. I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star..."
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